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A
place to be alone, to look at
yesterday, to
look inside myself at what went
wrong, but more important why?
And could I have done something
differently that would have made
it better. A time to be alone,
to search for answers that no
one can give me, answers I must
find inside me. A time to be
alone, to search behind my many
masks and find myself. A time to
dream, but a time to dream
dreams of reality, of what CAN
be, not search and dream of what
can never be.
 Yes,
it is a time to dream, a dream
that is attainable. A time for
change, change for the better,
but a time to accept the
things I cannot change, cope one
day at a time, one step at a
time, and slowly, I will be able
to climb this mountain of fear,
uncertainty and pain.
You
have walked with me, held my
hand, seldom understanding, but
being there, listening, trying
to help me find my
answers. You have done so
much, yet there is so much more
only I can do, for the answers
are not there for you, or
anyone, to "give me",
the problems are not there for
you to solve. Only I can do
that. But can I? I always
have before, always when I
looked deep inside, the answer,
the solution was there, but this
time I am so empty. The will,
the desire has to be here but
Dear God it is so deep I cannot
reach it. And pray, you say pray
to my Deity, ask for guidance
and strength, but have you never
prayed when there was no answer?
No comfort? Or does this happen
only to me? I think not, for I
am not unique, I am only human.
Yes,
it is a time to dream, so where
is my Unicorn? My Faerie? My
Blue Bird singing his glorious
song? Where is the black velvet
sky strewn with millions of
stars dancing like diamonds in
the moonlight? I keep searching,
dreaming, and somewhere deep
deep within my soul I will find
them and they will burst forth
and again, I will face tomorrow
with a smile, with faith in
myself, and the firm believe
that I am doing my best to be
All That I Can Be. The belief
that with your love, your trust
but most of all, your patience,
I will again, face a new day
filled with hope.
Will
you tire of my uncertainty, my
pain I cannot share? You may, if
so, I understand. But you have
been my anchor, my real dream,
my hope and for this I will
forever hold you in my heart. We
are promised, "there is a
time for all things", and
also, "this too shall
pass". I can only
pray this is so. For
now, I dream, alone, of
yesterday, today and tomorrow.
CopyrightŠAradia
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